So many times young people will come to me and they will say, you know, a young man will say, “I desire to marry this girl.”
And I will say, “Why?”
And he will say, “Well, I love to be with her and she is beautiful and when I am with her we feel so good and it just meets so many needs in my life and there is just when she is around, my life is so much more endearing.”
And I will always ask him this question, “Well, then, what you are telling me is you want to marry this girl because she meets all your selfish self centered needs and desires?”
The young man will always say, “No, that is not what I mean.”
And I’ll always say, “But that is what you said. You want to be with her because she is beautiful. Young man, what happens when she is no longer beautiful? What happens when someone more beautiful comes across your path?”
Or, “We can really talk and that is why we want to be together?”
What happens when you can’t really talk?
“We feel so good together.”
What happens when those feelings for a season are gone?
You see, your marriage must be based upon this one thing. God has called me to lay down my life for this woman. If she responds in kind praise the Lord. If she does not respond in kind, praise the Lord because I am not in this for me. And in a sense I am not
even in this for her. But I am in this for God.
The world will tell us that...that marriage is a 50-50 relationship. And then years ago Christians came along and said, “No. It is not a 50-50 relationship, it is 100%-100% relationship.”
I disagree with both. Marriage is 100%-0% relationship. You give 100% of everything you are to this woman even if she returns nothing of the sort back to you because you have been called of God to lay down your life for her.
“The sort of waiting to which we are called is not inactivity. It is very positive, purposeful, and spiritual. To be called to wait is to be called to the activity of remembering: remembering who I am and who God is. To be called to wait is to be called to the activity of worship: worshiping God for his presence, wisdom, power, love, and grace.”—http://theresurgence.com/2014/05/21/7-ways-to-follow-god-s-will-for-your-wait (via snohling)
“It is terrifying to think that one day you will trust somebody enough to let them see you naked. You will undress and remind them that you’ve stretch marks and birth marks and scars from having chicken pox when you were little and scars from all of the other things now. You will blush thousands of shades of red, painting yourself as a rose losing its petals. And that person - that person will take it all in. And I wonder if they will reassure you. But mostly, I wonder if they will even see anything worth reassuring you about. I hope they see each freckle on your back as if it’s a star and you are the whole universe to them.”—K.P.K (via epikhi)
“So often when I talk to a friend who keeps circling the drain of an addiction, an ex, a former life: I want to shout and shake them and slap them awake. But I know that only works for the short-term. Force and coercion never really internalizes or transforms. There is such an agony in patience, a heartbreaking hurt in watching others hurt, a crushing silence to wait until they hit rock bottom.
Yet we must wait on the other end. We must have open arms and a wellspring of grace when they have been spent dry. We must not say, ‘I told you so.’ We must still tell the truth, not in superiority, but with teary eyes and shaking hands. Don’t give up: because maybe you’re all they have. All the long while, be the voice of healing. Cheer for them, and say the thing that no one else has told them: ‘You’re so much better than this.’ Believe there is still yet hope, for God is sovereign and He is still in the business of rescue.”—J.S. (via jspark3000)
“Anxiety about our family is natural, but we shall be wise if we turn it into care about our own character. If we walk before the Lord in integrity, we shall do more to bless our descendants then if we bequeathed them large estates. A father’s holy life is a rich legacy for his sons. … Our integrity may be God’s means of saving our sons and daughters. If they see the truth of our religion proved by our lives, it may be that they will believe in Jesus for themselves.”—Charles Spurgeon (via craigtowens)
“People are always saying it’s the other person’s fault, the other one who needs to change. That is why I believe no amount of counseling will have an impact until God’s people resolve something. We all have to make this our sincere, daily prayer: ‘O God, change me.’ We spend far too much time praying, ‘God, change my circumstances; change my coworkers; change my family situation; change the conditions in my life.’ Yet we seldom pray this most important prayer: ‘Change me, Lord. The real trouble isn’t my spouse, my sibling, my friend. I’m the one who stands in need of prayer.’”—David Wikerson (via craigtowens)
“Oh you were beautiful, when your hair was a mess and your face a wreck. You were beautiful when you slept and when you wept. You were beautiful when you never thought you were, because I saw you in those moments, I saw all of you; and oh how I loved you.”—T.B. LaBerge // Unwritten Letters to You (via tblaberge)
“When She said my name I thought “Love knows my name! And She says it with the same beauty as the sound of rain.” And in that moment, I had fallen in love with anything that reminded me of Her.”—T.B. LaBerge // The Novel of Us (via tblaberge)
“And I fell so gracefully for you, time slowed and quickened at the same time; I saw my whole life go past and all I wanted was you to pass them with me. The stars burned out and the moon fell, but you and I danced in the midst of chaos, and I remember you holding me a little bit tighter and I you. Our hearts beating to the same tune and our souls sharing in each others company. I would dance with you until the end, holding you till the last note and hoping that just one more song would play for us, one more chance to be alone with you and alone with the possibility of a lifetime with you.”—T.B. LaBerge // The Novel of Us (via tblaberge)
“Serving God wholeheartedly as a single man or woman is part of His plan. Singleness is not an accidental state. Glorifying God is the chief end of man. If marriage will allow you to serve and glorify God better, He’ll work all that out.”—Ryan Rindels (via hannahcompton)
“I crave space. It charges my batteries. It helps me breathe. Being around people can be so exhausting, because most of them love to take and barely know how to give. Except for a rare few.”—Katie Kacvinsky, First Comes Love (via thatkindofwoman)
There are two ways in which guys think about girls:
The selfish way: “I want her for myself” “She doesn’t like me!?!” “I’ve been friend-zoned! I can’t have that.” “She’s so hot” “How do I look in front of her?” “She’s got a boyfriend? Not interested in her at all.” “She’s kind of ugly.” “I…
“Let’s talk for a little while, then we can find each other and start falling in love. Let’s spend the years together, finding things to love and eating good food. Let’s get married and dance to our favorite song, maybe You will laugh at how badly I dance, yet, You will love the willingness I have to learn. Let’s get groceries, ride bikes and just enjoy the simple things in life. Let’s be spontaneous and put all our belongings in the car and drive to the coast. Let’s be surprised by the joy of children and live to raise them right. Let’s live each day, falling in love all over again. Let’s be together in our old age, laughing at the frustration of our youth. Let’s kiss each other goodnight, so that we do not forget the power of a kiss. Let’s never forget what we have, and let’s never forget who we are, for we are learning each and everyday to be in love.”—T.B. LaBerge // I Hope. (via tblaberge)
“Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’” Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel. Each spouse then should give him- or herself to be a vehicle for that work and envision the day that you will stand together before God, seeing each other presented in spotless beauty and glory.”—Timothy Keller // The Meaning of Marriage. (via tblaberge)
“I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.”—Kuba Wojewodzki (via splitterherzen)